Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Don't drink the kool-aid!

new haircut!


New haircut! Gosh it's rad to be able to see stuff again, I hadn't had a fringe in a few years, and I'm remembering what it was like to have hair dangling over your eyes, and all the reaching for a bobby pin when ever you're doing something important (or that requires vision). It's so wonky, but I couldn't care less. I seem to have entered this stage in my life where I'm beginning to be comfortable with who I am, what I look like, etc. I used to feel that way at uni, but somehow, when I finished and started working full time, it evaporated... I would always be looking at other women and comparing myself, always jealous, always a little bit insecure about my face, my clothes, my weight, my hair, my body shape, my everything I guess... And becoming a teacher was a bit of head-messer-upper for me too, especially after studying creative arts, most of the education students were all sooooo straight, so innocent, so moral, so clean cut, so the opposite to me and my friends and my world, and I started to feel like I had to tone it down all the time, and I think for a little while there, I drank the teacher kool-aid. I think starting this business, being in charge and being around some good, old friends has helped me get another grasp at me.

Having someone close to you die sucks, there is no way around it, it's awful, but it's also an eye-opener, and a motivator, especially when that person was someone who believed in you so much and supported you in every creative endeavour you ever attempted. *Sigh*. So I know I have to go hard for him, I know I can't waste my time here, and I know I have to be true to me.

Be true to you! And find that side of yourself that lets you look comfortably and confidently in the mirror, it makes being alive so much easier, nice even, I promise!


Stephie said...

I'm sure it's good to try and take something positive out of something that's obviously so painful. Take care.

Leonie Guld said...

Someone once said to me "Find your own truth girl" It was very sound advice. Now I too have a business doing my own thing and helping people discover their inner creative side. Thanks for this blog I love the, honesty, fringe and the stripy Tee. :)