And so Elka is almost 10 months old. It seems so hard to believe, in some ways it feels like she has been here with us forever, and in some ways, I guess she has, but in other ways, we are both still coming to terms with her and with each other, and her with us. I suppose it's all a bit of a cliche just because it's been going on since the beginning of time.











The sleeping has gotten better and then at times worse, we mastered controlled crying for a little while and then she got sick and mastered uncontrolled crying... But I am no longer feeding her every 2 hours at night which was the case at times so overall I think things have gotten better. I'm still mystified to hear that babies sleep through the night all on their own from a couple of months old! It suits me to think it's a myth.

She is walking, babbling, laughing, dancing, opening everything, emptying everything, into everything. I'm at a point where if she can't slam her fingers in it, can't choke on it, can't smear whatever it is all over the walls, floors, etc., I'm perfectly happy, and so is she.

She kisses me on the lips, she rocks out, rhythmically kicking her legs while I'm breastfeeding her, she holds onto me for dear life sometimes. And it always amazes me that she can hate me and love me again so quickly.

And we have changed so much. The alarm clock is set to 6am so that the morning isn't such a squeeze, I leave the house most days of the week, I seem to have given up my hermit ways, we cook enormous meals and freeze them. We stopped watching the news, in fact we stopped watching TV almost altogether unless there is something specific on. We are so freaking busy, we never stop, we wake up tired every morning, but the strangest thing has happened... we are happy! Everything before seems so silly and meaningless, and the human race seems to make a little more sense to us. Even our parents make a little more sense- who'd have thought!?

B.